holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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