I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
ok first of all what the fuck
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
