Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize