I can't watch pbs sober anymore
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
