he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize