Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
