he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
