i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My penis needs a shock collar
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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