I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
