I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize