Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
