Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
