1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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