I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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