I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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