as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
