adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
