I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize