Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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