Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
