i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize