After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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