Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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