I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
