And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Randomize
