i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They are going to name an STD after you.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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