i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
