she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Your cock deserves a montage
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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