this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
being pregnant is like rehab
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
