I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
