I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
