I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
