Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
