I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
