the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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