You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
