it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
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