last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
