Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
The best revenge is premature balding
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
