is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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