Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
