Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
