Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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