I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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