worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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