i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
