They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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