I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize