Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
