Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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