i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
