i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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