What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
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