please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
