How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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