Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
