I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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