She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
This baby is an asshole
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
