I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
